Getting Your Ex Back - Tips For Reconstructing Contact

By Bernard Phelps

Chances are you have heard the tip that it's never a brilliant idea to swamp your ex with communication shortly after a break. A bit of space and time is always suggested irrespective of whether or not you would like to get your ex back at last, but there does come a time in your scheme for getting him or her back where you are going to have to make contact again...but how? That is what I'm here to help you with!

Re-establishing contact with an ex should only be done after you've both had some space and time away from one another, and you used that isolation from your ex to do some real work on getting your things straight. Even once that's all good and you are prepared to contact your ex again, you need to go about it correctly.

A "heavy" contact full of feelings and talk about getting back together is a really bad idea at this stage. You are doubtless still injuring from the breakup, and likely so too is your ex...and the 1st impulse you will give your ex by hammering him or her with this sort of talk is anxiety or panic. You could extraordinarily well cause yourself to lose your ex for good!

Because of this, getting back in contact with your ex should be a "light" contact without any overwhelming "relationship talk." Your first communication should be an ice-breaker, not a relationship-fixer. It is a slow process to rebuild a relationship, and you want to acknowledge that and take it easy. The most counseled avenues of a contact re-initiation are a quick email, text message, or phone call. Meeting in the flesh is mostly a bit too forward for such a fragile situation.

Remember that you don't want to scare your ex away with "touchy-feel talk," so keep it friendly. Ask how they have been doing, and essentially make your presence and willingness to associate with them known. You are reconstructing from the bottom up, starting at comradeship and working from there. Pushing the gas too fast...well, I suspect I have made it obvious what that might do.

If all goes well with the primary contact, the way is open to keep going on a gentle incline. Eventually the time should come when you are spending time together again, and that is where you can shine as a new and enhanced you. After you get the door open, it is up to you how you would like to walk through it. - 30535

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